Thursday, 11 November 2010

British Legion

So tonight I'm off to a black tie boxing night for the British Legion of all things! I've been told I don't have to wear black this evening which is very exciting because I own very few black clothes and only have two "cocktail" looks in black which I'm getting quite bored with! I've decided to wear this ensemble....

Corset: Kookai
Skirt: Jigsaw
Shoes: Office
Jewellery: Swished from the lovely V

I love these Kookai corsets, I have five! I'm a sucker for this, if I find something that I like and I think suits me I'll buy it in every colour I can get my hands on. I think the largest collection I have like this is my All Saints Russian Doll skirt collection, I have close to about twenty of these which, even for me, is a little excessive. I also have the Office shoes I'm wearing today in about six different colours......hmmmm I think I have a problem!

Todays dating disaster is ...... Scary Dude! I met Scary Dude on MSF he started emailing me and was very funny and liked the sci-fi thing, his profile was well written and he didn''t seem to take himself to seriously. He only had up a few photos and these were mainly head shots but he was very cute and I knew no better..... We chatted on MSN for a while and he was very persistant about asking me where exactly I worked. Now I'm an ecdysiast and had said so on my profile as I didn't want to mislead anyone. Scary Dude really wanted to know which club in particular I worked in, something that I had wanted to tell people in person as there are some people who jump to consclusions or have preconceived ideas about what I do, he had asked in so many ways that I would have had to lie or totally ignore the question so I told him. Whoops.

We had agreed to meet for lunch (I work nights, so evening dates were a little difficult) and when I turned up it became apparent that the photos Scary Dude had used on MSF were about five years old or head shots because he was quite a bit (a lot) chubbier than he'd stated. He was still cute but not really my type and if he'd been honest with his description and photos I probably wouldn't have met him. Call me shallow if you want but you can't help who you are attracted to.

The first thing Scary Dude said to me as I sat down and after "Hello" was, and I quote, "You have wonky front teeth! My best friend is a private dentist and going through a messy divorce, I told him what you did for a living and he said "don't f**k it up and offer free dental treatments to her in exchange for her setting me up with her mates" so I can get your teeth fixed if you know anyone that wants to date my friend!". Scary Dude said all this with a huge smile on his face like I was going to be over the moon with his offer/suggestion! Now I do have a wonky front tooth but I quite like it, it's not so bad and adds character or so my Mum tells me! I smiled politely and wondered how the hell I was going to get out of there! This is when I decided that from then on I would arrange with a friend for the "emergency" text about half an hour in to any date I went on from that day forth. Unfortunately I hadn't developed this online dating survival tip yet so I thought "well his emails were funny so lunch won't be that bad" oh how wrong I was! Scary Dude was a nightmare, he'd decided that I would be fun to date for a while and was flashing the cash and dropping glaringly obvious "I'm loaded" hints in to his conversation because he thought that was the way to attract someone who does what I do for a living (he made it obvious that was what he thought the whole time I was there!).

Lunch lasted an hour and I paid for my half (didn't want to owe him anything!) and excused myself sharpish breathing a sigh of relief that that was over.... A few days later Scary Dude texted me at about 2am on a Friday morning, now I am a night owl and I am almost always awake at that time but for someone who I barely knew to text at that time I thought was quite rude, how was he to know these things about me? I hadn't told him! The text was very drunken, he was on a stag do in Poland, and asking what I was up to and if I fancied meeting up again? I didn't reply for a number of reasons; I wasn't interested, it was 2am in the morning and I had no clue what to say. About 20 minutes later I got another text demanding to know why I wasn't replying, he knew that I was getting his texts and I was online (I wasn't) how dare I not reply! I turned my phone off, got on to MSF and MSN to block him and went to sleep thinking "weirdo"!

A few weeks later I got an email on MSF from a cute guy who was really charming and very funny, we exchanged emails back and forth for a few days and finally agreed to meet for Sunday lunch that weekend (I don't have much luck with Sunday lunch dates so I?!). It got to Sunday and I received an email confession saying "Hi, I thought I ought to tell you before we met today that it's actually Scary Guy (he used his name obvs)! I was really sorry about the texts and wanted to see you again. Hopefully you'll still want to meet up?" Oooooo Mmmmm Geeeee! I blocked this new profile (yup he'd set up a whole new profile and nicked some poor guys pictures! New phone number too.) and sent an email to MSF about this very strange guy so he was then their problem!

A few weeks later Scary Dude walked into the club I work in, he'd come in to see me and explain! At this point you have to ask yourself "really!?" thankfully the club I work in has excellent door staff and management and Scary Dude was escorted off the premisis and asked not to return. I should have excused myself the minute I got to the first date with hind sight, if he was lying/misleading people with his profile it wasn't a good indicator for his personality in the long run. I might be shallow for being attracted to a certain type of person but at least I'm honest about it! Both of Scary Dude's profile were removed from MSF and I never saw him again after that but he intiated the "emergency" text protocol I now have!

Lots of Love

P.S. x


  1. mad story...but you look great!

  2. you're not shallow, it's just honesty! anyone who believes that it's ALL about what's on the inside is ignorant!

    that story actually terrified me! what an absolute weirdo, i'd hire a bloody body guard, i immediately started thinking about that dude off of 'there's something about mary' when i was reading it!

    love these posts <3

  3. love that corset! i could see it working so well with other pieces!

  4. I like your dress!!!
    Angela Donava

  5. Hi! Lovely blog! New follower! I hope you'll follow you back! ;) kiss


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